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Toxic Talk Killing Your People Skills?

There is an over-abundance of toxic talk lately.   Economy, joblessness, unemployment, underemployment… So, what is toxic talk?  Toxic talk, whether expressed internally or externally, is conversations that are poisonous.  Yes, conversations can act as poison.

In mid-evil times poison was placed on arrows that were then were poised and strung into bows to kill the enemy.   This same effect is seen when our words and conversations with others are toxic.  The same is true of our thoughts, also known as self-talk.

Words that are toxic, harsh, cruel, and negative can harm and even kill relationships and friendships, stifle productivity and creativity, and can even cause stress and illness if the words come often enough. People skills are all about getting along with others. Take a moment to review the list of toxic talk listed below, then think about the ways you can eliminate or control the use of these people skills killers.

List of toxic talk words and phrases:

  • I “HATE”  …  (put in any word such as rain, traffic, airports)
  • I CAN’T, You CAN’T, They CAN’T
  • Gossip
  • Negative words that tear down self or others
  • Angry explosions
  • Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda…This is living in the past tense
  • Absolutist words such as never or always.  You NEVER say “thanks”.  You are ALWAYS late.
  • Blame
  • Talking about negative “what ifs”.  This is negative goal setting.
  • That will never work…
  • We’ve always done it this way” (does it still work?  Did it ever work?)

We have all experienced days when we may have gotten up late or on the wrong side of the bed.  And on those days most things go downhill from there.  Don’t let that be the way you live your life!

Here are four things you can to eliminate the toxic personality syndrome:

  1. Reframe your words and your thoughts.
  2. Look for people and situations that you do like.
  3. Seek out positive people.
  4. Schedule something meaningful into each day.

Look for and find the good in yourself, in others, and in life.  Your words and your outlook can and will help you find the goodness. Becoming a better person starts with your inner thoughts about yourself and others. Eliminate Toxic Talk and you will become a better person – in the eyes of others.

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Judy W Bell

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