“Before we can have a successful relationship with anyone, we first need a perfect personal relationship.” – Russ Von Hoelscher
Well, perhaps not perfection since it does not exist! But it is necessary to have a successful relationship with yourself before you can extend that to others.
Do your relationships bring you stress? Being aware of the problem is the beginning of finding the solution.
Do you Perfect Something Until it’s a Perfect Disaster?
Psychologists consider perfectionism to be an obsessive personality type. Perfectionists set unreasonable and unrealistic standards to which neither he nor others can possibly meet.
Many perfectionists are crippled by their thinking. In the quest to be perfect and “do” perfect, the paralysis sets in. We have all heard the phrase, “Paralysis by Analysis.” Most perfection is neither measurable nor unattainable.
While finishing up this blog series on Employee Engagement, I asked a few of my friends and business associates to think back to a time when they felt “most engaged” in their jobs and to describe the feelings that came back to them.
These are the things I heard the most often…
Resilience is one’s ability to bounce back after adversity. One cannot go through life with experiencing tragedy, adversity, stress, illness, loss, and pain. Resilience means having the capacity to cope and adapt in a positive manner to otherwise negative events.
Almost every major study on the importance of resiliency points out that positive and loving relationships are one of the most important factors of minimizing the negative effects of stress, tragedy, and adversity.
So…what are the top 10 ways to build your resilience?
One of the very best articles I have read on “burnout” was outlined in an article from Stress and Burnout in Ministry. Many times the lines between the two conditions are blurred and we become confused to actually what is going on with our moods and emotions. Many of the symptoms between stress and burnout are similar; leaving us often times attempting to solve a problem that we don’t actually have the correct diagnosis to begin. Are we experiencing stress or burnout?
There are many causes of job burnout. Sometimes it can be that a person is working in a job that is not properly suited to their natural talents and abilities, causing them to work much harder than the work duties actually require. Other reasons cited for burnout include a mis-match of key values between the company and the employee. Someone who is working outside of his or her value system is a prime candidate for burnout.
Other work-related causes of burnout are:
- Lack of a feeling of control over your work
- Unclear or “moving” job expectations
- Working in a high-pressured environment
- Lack of recognition or appreciation for a job well-done
Are you feeling stressed these days? One of the key influences to high stress is from trying to be – “All Things for All People.”
This condition is a stress creating machine for those who have it. In fact, it is so common we have found it or identified it from our basic assessment tools. When people have this condition it shows up in their adapted behavior, which indicts the person has little internal identify and attempts to make everyone happy – but themselves.
This unique finding has allowed us to either assist the person with the condition (it is not fatal unless it leads to a stress related health condition.) or advise their manager with a simple solution.
With the current events, news and financial concerns, are you feeling your stress level increase?
It may show up in having a ‘shorter fuse’ and getting upset easier…
Or perhaps the inability to sleep through the night including waking up and feeling like you hardly slept…
Or experiencing being tired all the time and drained of energy…
There are many ways that we experience stress and yet our bodies respond in the same way as if we were being chased by the hungry tiger.
However, some people are moving through this same time and they are being happy and experiencing peace and calm… HOW CAN THEY DO THAT?
Their perception or mindset is different. They have shifted their perception from seeing the doom and gloom to focusing on what they define as important to them …
Knowing there is a purpose in everything …
Or, trusting their ability to survive and thrive …
Or, taking responsibility for their next step, seeing opportunities and taking action to achieve it.
Here is an example from a recent client:
“I now feel as if I’ve gained a partner from within and this new, or renewed, partnership has given me an unexpected calm and peace deep inside. From my perspective the results can only be positive in all areas of my life.”
Find out how to experience more peace and calm in your life by contacting Robin at 901.757.4434.