Sending Signals of Disinterest in Conversations?
One of the amazing things about effective communication is the amount of non-verbal signals we send to others. In fact, there are a number of ways we send this message to others during conversations and interactions.
While the two biggest non-verbal mistakes are a lack of eye contact during our communication and not leaning forward. These are active listening body language techniques that anyone can easily use to immediately improve our effectiveness during communication. If you want to show your disinterest in another person, then use the opposite of these two actions.
There are seven additional ways that we must be aware of that indicate a total disinterest in the conversation or interaction with another person. These seven include:
- Slouching – Yes, poor posture can be a signal of disinterest. It actually appears as you are no paying attention to the other person – for whatever reason.
- Crossed Arms – This signal conveys you are closed to any thing others are discussing. Any signal of a fixed opinion shuts down the free flow of information.
- Fiddling with Things – While it could be that you are kinesthetic – meaning you think best while doing things – you must stop when others are talking to you. It could be very distracting to the other person and imply you are not interested.
- Writing – Now taking notes is okay here – if you have asked permission to take notes. If you are writing a letter, typing on the computer, etc. then this is just plain rude. My feelings about people who have done this to me during a meeting or sales presentation – well I cannot print my thoughts.
- Wandering Eyes – Looking out the window, counting tiles in the ceiling, watching others in another room is, well, again just plain rude. Make eye contact with the person or persons you are communicating with – talking or listening.
- Head Shaking – Implying the “NO” signal or you are “wrong” signal does not encourage open dialogue and trust. What it does say is “know it all” and closed mindedness at that.
- Sighing or rolling eyes – Again, total disrespect for the other person, which does not encourage open or even objective dialogue. Emotions enter the field of play quickly using this action.
While the above things do create tension and distrust during communication with others, the key to successful communication is to stay focused on the other person. Listen with the intent of understanding their point of view without judgment. The other point is to make a conscious decision to monitor your non-verbal communication. This will ensure effective communication.
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