Mismatcher’s Can Be See as Troublesome
Did you see Saturday’s comic section and the Dilbert strip in particular? I was thinking how funny it was and then I realized that most people would not understand the deeper meaning. Okay, let me explain. This is all about the human operating system and was uncovered by the team of Bandler and Grinder. They named the technology Neuro-Linguistic-Programming or NLP.
NLP shows how the brain works and how people use certain triggers in their everyday lives – including such basic functions as communication, interaction with others, decision making and problem solving. In some European countries this system is being used in all departments of corporates to improve communication and understand decision making at all levels – not to mention just plain old personal development.
Now about the Dilbert cartoon this weekend and particularly the statement in the next to last frame about “…manipulating the puppet strings…” which can be misunderstood. It is true if a person does not understand NLP or even basic behavioral styles – then they can be manipulated by others. The key is always the intent of the other person. Personally, I have been using both NLP techniques and behavioral style factors for years. Not to manipulate others… because my intent is to gain rapport and trust, which leads to open and objective dialogue with others. When I match the other person’s style and preferences, the barriers or natural resistance to open dialogue is welcome.
Back to the Comic strip story line, the punchline was based upon people understanding the match – mismatch differences. First, the matchers look for common factors to connect with making other matchers feel good. Matchers look for sameness in describing things and can have some issues with problem solving – since they do not automatically see problems or differences from the norm – they are looking for sameness.
Second, the mismatchers on the other hand can be seen as real problem people. They are not actually the “bad” person they get labeled as by others. Their issue is their brain looks for differences, mismatches or exceptions to the rule. They are mentally conditioned to see the exception or different issue – in every situation, statement or person. This people are usually labeled as troublesome or difficult to get along with by others (the matchers!). Actually, these people are great problem solvers and can isolate an problem or exception immediately.
Finally, learn to recognize the traits of people. Are they matchers or mismatchers? This will give you a hugh advantage in understanding the actions of others – and how to gain rapport with people. If you are pure matcher or pure mismatcher, then the ability to flex to others becomes more difficult. Yet, it can be done if you use discipline in your communication and choose to do the right thing in your communication with others.
Understanding the human operating system is one of the systems that we use in our coaching process for leaders and sales people. We explain the fundamentals and model the use of the system in the coaching process. If you want to learn how to gain rapport with anyone, build trust with your team (or customers), and be able to communicate effectively with everyone – call us today and learn how to use this process.
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