Lose the Word “WHY” When Questioning Others
As a communication tip, you need to lose the word “WHY” when asking questions of others. This rule of thumb is to be used if you prefer to have objective discussions like two adults.
When you use Why as the first word in the question, you are creating a potential emotional reaction. When a person is asked why they chose something or made a certain decision, they usually feel the need to defend their position. Then the discussion goes emotional and feeling take the center stage. I prefer to learn the reasons or circumstances that were involved in the decision. Then we can have a true dialogue, rather than a potential debate.
Learn to ask questions using other questioning words – what, how many, did you look at, etc. – that create a back and forth dialogue. Learn this technique and become a better person, friend or boss.
There is one exception to this rule: You can ask yourself questions using the WHY word. Since it is difficult to debate with yourself, learn the factors that influenced your decisions and choices. This is the only time it is okay to use the WHY word in a question.
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