At InnerActive Consulting Group our motto is
“Getting You To The Next Level”.
One way to accomplish good communication skills is to hone active listening skills. Developing effective and active listening skills is just as important as developing your speaking skills.
Good communication requires a partnership. Not only is someone speaking, but also at least one other person must listen. Really listen! Continue reading ‘Good Communication is an InnerActive Relationship’ »
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.”
– Lao Tzu
Trust is the foundation of all great relationships, whether personal or professional. Many people have a keen awareness of how another person feels, so if your words, actions, or energy says that you don’t trust them, it is likely they will not trust you.
There are effective ways to build trust into your relationships. This starts with YOU! Continue reading ‘The Importance of Building Trust’ »
So, you want to know “how” a person communicates, talks, walks, listens, deals with people, handles processes and rules, makes decisions, goes after goals and problems? Then you need to look at a DISC assessment to answer the question.
DISC assessments answer these questions and more. The tool tells you if a person is feeling minor or major stress. It can tell you when a person is trying to be “all things to all people” and again feeling unusual stress in the process.
If you are looking for a sample of a DISC report and what it covers, go to our assessment site (which explains all the assessments we offer and what they will do for you) and download a sample “behavioral” report. They come in different formats – one for executives, managers & staff, sales, customer service, team building and even time management.
Someone asked me, “Is the DISC report a personality test?” My answer was “no.” The reason for this answer is the DISC reports have no psychology involved in the assessment. Only behavior is recorded or the behavioral tendencies of an individual. Yet, behavior is the most dominant factor since it is what everyone sees or hears. Behavioral traits are on display for everyone to see and “judge.”
I prefer the power and insight of the DISC reports because it is easily validated by the person who takes the assessment and everyone who interacts with this person. However, one major issues comes up between people. When people or staff are unaware of the types of behavioral style, they tend to judge others based upon their “own style preferences.” This can create natural conflict and misunderstanding of actions or intent.
85% of conflict in organizations can be linked to different behavioral style. This has been our experience working in the corporate arena.
People need to understand the power of behavioral style and how it influences our actions and our communication effectiveness with others. Our number one workshop is based upon helping people understand how behavioral tendencies influence our actions and results. Check out our number one workshop: Effective Communication for Results.
If you are interested in this assessment and the impact it provides an organization, please contact me at 901-757-4434. We can discuss how it can help you and your organization or team. Call now and get more effectiveness and productivity in your group, team or organization.
It continues to confound me that sales people do not totally understand what flexing their style will do for their sales results. It is a basic communication technique used to gain rapport with others. It is the key to effective communication.
Yet, every week I see sales people mismatching their styles with customers and then complain about the customer not acting upon their offer.
One sales person last week was a perfect example. An aggressive, direct and fast paced individual who usually takes no prisoners in their selling style is selling to a passive, yet friendly and slow paced customer. The sales person was talking business for the start, using logic to gain acceptance to ideas and statements. The sales person asked direct (and uncomfortable) questions to the customer and expected direct and compelling answers.
The customer was friendly and smiled some, yet, became visually uncomfortable with the barrage of direct questions. This person needed time to review the process and find out the answers to the questions. The customer listened to the logic driven explanations and was polite, but was not buying in to the pressure packed offers. Finally, the old “I’m not ready to buy anything today, let me think about and I’ll get back to you!” statement came from the customer.
The reality of the situation was the customer would use passive aggressive techniques to get rid of the sales person. Appearing to accept the logic and the pressure, while knowing that there will be not buying happening soon with this sales person.
Why does this happen? The sales person is selling the way the sales person would buy, rather than observing the style of the customer and selling to the customer the way the customer wants to be sold. This is not some type of rocket science – it is style in action – preferences of each person overriding the need for rapport and trust.
The sales person was not paying attention to the fact that this customer preferred indirect questions which in the customer’s mind are “safe” questions. And, surprisingly an indirect question will be answered with a direct and real answer. This customer needed to know that the offer was safe, “quiet” and smooth in implementation, would cause no issues for the customer in the future and that others would approve of the decision.
These are simple techniques to use, however, a sales person must take the time to learn about the styles and how to flex to the different styles effectively. This requires some training and development time, that will convert into major gains in sales results, rapport with customers and higher levels of trust.
Contact us about learning how to flex your style. Check out our Flexible Selling website and gain some insight into why it is important to understand your own style, how to recognize others’ styles and then use the most effective techniques for rapport and trust building. Call us at 901-757-4434.
Are you speaking the same language as the other person you are communicating with today? Really, this is a serious question. No, I’m not talking about English vs. other Foreign languages (however, this is a subject for a later blog post!).
I’m asking about using the same representational system language so others will understand you and get the real message you are sending. Okay, so what are representational systems? These are the ways your brain prefers to think. There are five different systems – which three are primary.
The three primary systems are visual, auditory and kinesthetic. The other two are smell and taste – which are not used as often – yet are in play in some professions such as taste for chefs. A chef will understand the variations of taste and can accurately express their thoughts regarding the taste of food.
To match the language of others you must study the visual, auditory and kinesthetic languages and practice using the words for each group. Practice is a key part of learning to speak the same language as others.
An example of this information is visual thinkers. Visual thinkers use words such as “I see the big picture.”; “the vision of the future is clearing up for me.”; “Let’s look into…”; “This issue is cloudy for me.” If you look into the words used you will see the visual language. Then when dealing with type of thinker you want to use visual words so they can see the message in their minds clearly.
Auditory thinkers use words like hear, sounds, clear as a bell, I like the tone of this, it’s music to my ears. As you read this you will hear the tones and rhythm of the message and it will music to the listeners ears. Use the same language and your message will ring true.
Kinesthetic thinkers are the doers and touchers of the world. They grab things, handle issues, get in touch with others, hang on to ideas, play the game, and hit the home run or carry the ball. These people are the ones that need to hold on to things in order to get it. Once they get a handle on the issues they can carry on.
Okay, there is the crash course on the three primary representational systems and the words that each will use. The key is to get the other person talking and then listen for word patterns. Then use the same pattern as you reply and you will be in rapport. Then you can discuss any topic with objective understanding. Learn to speak the same language and watch your effectiveness in communication increase.
I am amazed that people use the “Why” word so often while talking with others. And, then get offended when the conversation becomes emotional driven. Stop using the why word – today. In the only time you can use this word is when you are talking to yourself.
What’s wrong with using WHY? The reason is simple. When asked “why” people feel they must justify their answer. This justification usually becomes defensive in nature since they are expecting you to tell them the reasons their answer is wrong! This places the situation in an emotional state and objectivity leaves the building.
Before using the why word, think about what you really want to know. Then ask a question that leads to the results that you want. Better starting terms to a question include: What reasons lead you to this decision? What factors were involved in this decision? When you made this decision, did you consider this…?
The reason the why word has become a problem is due to parents tendency to ask their kids during heated discussions – Why did you do this? Thus the start of being told what a bad decision this was. And the cycle is started. Whenever others use the why word – we immediately begin to justify our response.
Take time to think about what you doing and what outcome you want from your communication with others. It will make a difference. Show respect for the other person and they will show respect back. Think equals or in psychological terms – adult to adult – it makes a difference.
Wednesday night I had a date with my wife to see the Great One – Robin Williams live. He was amazing and my ribs are still hurting from all the laughing. So, if you get a chance to catch his current act – just do it – He is that great!
Yet, as I reflected back on his presentation I realized what he did in the opening minutes to connect to the entire audience. First, since it was a sell out performance, I’m certain that everyone there was expecting a great performance from him. Yet, it was the personal connection that he used to grab your attention that caught my attention.
He used no less than five local references that everyone in the audience could relate to – assuming you were from Memphis. Before the global jokes and routine jokes, he made the personal connections talking about Memphis stuff that got our attention and our laughs – because we knew it was true!
Leaders, Managers and Sale People who communicate with others as part of their regular work day need to understand what this master comedian knows. Building rapport is the most important part of your presentation to others. Before the facts, details and your ideas, you must connect with your audience. With one to one or group settings, rapport building opens the door to effective communication.
Rapport Building is the foundation piece for trust. Without trust, very little can get done effectively. Learn to connect with others early and watch how engaging others become. I have watched people who would not give most people the time of day, begin to tell a person who took the time to gain rapport, their life history and all the information necessary to effectively sell to their company! Magic? No. Simple? Yes. If you understand the techniques of rapport building.
If you have no clue about what I am talking about – then it is your responsibility to learn about rapport building. Their are several excellent books on the topic for leaders and sales people. Or, you can get coaching on people skills from someone like us. We have been helping clients learn how to build improved people skills for over a decade. Can us at 901-757-4434 and we will build some rapport!
So you want to be the next great communicator? What signals are you sending to others? Does your body language agree with your message? Does your Body Language reinforce the power of the message or does it distract the listener?
Okay, you get the message – there needs to be coordination between your body language and your voice or message. How does this work – this coordination of body and message?
Let’s start with a really simple element – eye contact. Yes, making eye contact is the first step to improving your delivery of communication messages. Making eye contact shows confidence in what you are talking about and most importantly is it makes it person even in group settings.
Too often we see people speaking to the ceiling, the wall in the back of a room or worst – looking down at a paper or notes. Not making eye contact is the kiss of death regarding believe in the quality of the message. People want trust and they want information that they can relate to or commit to action.
A couple of other keys is to have good posture. Again, this is a sign of strength that others can relate to or want to relate to strength and confidence. Poor posture includes bending over at the waist, slumping shoulders, or looking down at the floor. Shoulders back and standing tall are signs of strength – use them accordingly.
Use natural jestures especially open palms facing the person or persons you are talking with as it shows a openness to actions. It also shows that you have nothing to hide. Use moderate jestures with your hands and arms. When overused or extreme, others can be distracted from the message and actually miss a critical point.
When doing major presentations to a group of people, stand like an oak tree when you make your major points during the presentation. Moving too fast again is distracting and takes away from the power of your presentation. However, standing firm behind a podium – like a marble statute – takes away from your energy level and likewise the emotional bonding with the group. Movement is good in moderation.
Tone of voice is another form that improves communication. I will discuss this factor in a later post. If you need assistance in your communication skills with others, call me at 901-757-4434. We offer monthly workshops on Effective Communication for Results or personal coaching in several areas. Check out our speaker site for the ECR guy.
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